Terrific Tuesday

We love this boy...he is growing into an amazing young man.

Possessed by God

How is that title sitting with you? Is it intreging to you or are you thinking about me losing my marbles? What does it mean to you to be possesed by something? Webster dictionary states:

Possessed

1) influenced or controlled by something as an evil spirit or a passion

2) urgently desirous to do or have something

Do you see that? It gives me goose bumps all over to think about this definition and the highlighted words. So now you are probably asking yourself where the heck I am going with this...to a really cool place!

Yesterday I made my weekly trip to west phx for the girls to have a visit with bio parents. Sometimes I go to eat and do my bible study and other times I go hang out at Cristown Mall (which is like a whole other world let me tell you). As I walked I around I noticed that they have a Sally's Beauty Supply so I was excited to see if their selection of African American hair products was more substantial than our local one. To my glorious surprise it was about triple the size, hence their clientel. While I read ingredients and labels I didn't really find anything so I just bought my normal olive oil conditioner I use on the girls hair at bath time. While at the registar the lady asked me what I was going to be using this product for. I love getting asked that question because I enjoy so much sharing our story and our unique family. I said, "I have a 3 yr old Arfrican American daughter through foster care, and we are moving towards adoptions." (of course with a proud mama smile across my face). She said in response, "What would posses you to do that?". I was totally taken back by her comment. There was no tone or rudeness in her voice but her choice of words was something I had yet to hear. I took a death breath and quickly collected myself, I didn't want her to know I was thrown by her words. I smiled again and said, "My husband and I see this as a ministry and we feel He has called us to care for little ones who need a home; to offer them love and safety." Now it was her turn to be taken back. She paused as my words I am sure swirled in her mind and she said sweetly, "This world is pretty screwed up and it is so good to hear about people helping others selflessly." Amen sister!!!

I haven't been able to get this brief conversation out of my mind. I keep thinking about that word...possessed. Of course naturally our brain at first thinks this word is negative, but as I began to think more and more about it I began to feel so overwhelmed with peace and affection for my Lord. I desire nothing more right now than to be possesed by my God...to be influenced by His passion, to urgently do His work. Let these words fill you mind, they might just change your life...

The Power of Your Name by Lincoln Brewster

Surely children weren't made for the streets

And fathers were not made to leave

Surely this isn't how it should be

Let Your Kingdom come

Surely nation were not made for war

Or the broken meant to be ignored

Surely this just can't be what You saw

Let Your Kingdon come

Here in my heart

I will live

to carry Your compassion

To love a world that's broken

To be Your hands and feet

I will give

With the life that I've been given

and go beyond religion

To see the world be changed

By the power of Your name

Surely life wasn't made to regret

And the lost were not amde to forget

Surely faith without action is dead

Let Your Kingdome come

Lord break this heart

Your name

Is a shelter for the hurting

Jesus Your name

Is a refudge for the weak

Only Your name

Can redeem the undeserving

Jesus Your name

Holds everything I need

Can there be anything more beautiful than the words that spur on a heart to take action for our Lord? "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27)

How beautiful are the words directly from the mouth of our Savior?

What are you possessed by? Is it God? Is it the world? Good food for thought...

Too Cute Tuesday

10 things we love about this girlie

1: She has a smile that touches from ear to ear and brings joy to those that see her.

2: Her creative imagination is blossoming before our very eyes, either with her art work or her pretend lands that she creates.

3: Ever since she began talking the craziest things come out of this childs mouth...things that make us laugh for days.

4: She is sensitive. Her heart in tender and sometimes it is drama and other times it is her ability to have raw emotion that I envy.

5: She is kind. She loves having friends and is always working to be a better one.

6: She LOVES playing dollies with her Dad and giggles and giggles when they do so.

7: She is the best snuggler I have ever met. Her hugs are pretty awesome too!

8: For being only 6 she is real and authentic. She tells you what she is feeling without hesitation and wears those feelings on her sleeve.

9: Sometime while she can be filled with fear at doing something new she is easily encouraged and usually gives is a shot. She has great courage!

10: She starts each new day with a smile and wonderful attitude, which is infectious to the rest of us.

Love you sweet baby girl...(although not really a baby any more)

This is oddly familiar...

Once again we are faced with a week of court hearings for the kids. I have known this week was coming for the past 6mths...and while I didn't think about it obsessively it was never far from my mind either.

Tomorrow, 3/23 we have a Report and Review hearing for Nathan and his brothers case. Several things about this case make it so unpredictable. One, the caseworker is not the best...she is a kind person but not sure she does her job the best she can. She feels like reunification with mom is a good idea and we strongly disagree. At the very least mom should have to be making trips to AZ to try and connect with the children, two of which have no idea who she is. We are waiting for a decision from the state of TX to see is they are going to be joining in the process and work towards the reunifiaction goal. If they agree then they will facilitate visits and parenting classes for the parents however it also means the boys will be removed from our homes and placed in TX, most likely directly with mom, while being monitored by TX CPS. If they don't agree than it puts more pressure on mom to come to AZ and complete all these same requirements. Kim (the foster mom for Terence and Terrell) and I feel like we may in for a big shock tomorrow. We are not feeling peace about what is going to happen and are desperatly trying to hang on to the truth of God and His devine plan. I have said this before but if you ever want to learn how to rely completely on the Lord for something in your life try foster care. I have absolutly no influence, no control, and I am basically an observer watching as these decisions pass right by me in a parade. It is both humbling and scary all in the same moments. It is hard to trust a 'system' that claims best interest of the kids and watch as they do the opposite time and time again.

Friday begins the severence trail for the girls' mom. This should be an open and shut case, but Satan has managed to put all kinds of doubt in my mind. I start fantisizing about adopting Ayana, about seeing her grow and complete high school, get married...I desire nothing more than to have her be a "Self". With these dreams comes intense fear of it acutally not happening. And then there is the guilt...the guilt of taking a child from her mother even if it is for her benefit. I never imagined these events for my life which is why I believe God has a plan working, but again TRUST and waiting can be so difficult. Even more difficult is Leeah...precious babe! She had her Report and Reivew hearing last week and niether parent showed for court, which in my mind again is a red flag, but the state of AZ works hard to give every parent as many chances as possible. There is a possibilty of changing her case plan from reunifiaction to severence but not for another 3-6mths. She turns 1 the beginning of May! She brings a joy to our family I didn't know we were missing until she came. She can brighten a room with the twinkle in her eyes. We would be heartbroken if she left, and yet we know the risks too. We are so thankful for the time we have had with each of these amazing children and while moments of doubt are natural and creep in we have a strong, safe place to fall back on. I cannot imagine doing this with out God walking alongside and filling our hearts with comfort.

Lord, Yah-weh, King of Kings, be near! We feel the doubts and fears creep into our hearts and we are desperate to touch your glory through these events. We need comfort. We need to see your face in this place. Begin a work in our hearts, prepare us to be your tools, your light in the dark places of this time. We pray these chilren are protected from harm, emotionally and physically. You know the desires of our heart and yet above all our flesh we crave your path. We pray for peace what ever the outcome, today, tomorrow and in the future. Your will, not mine! We love you Abba Father...Amen.

Phx Zoo

Grandma Annie joined us at the zoo today and we all had such a great time. She talked to them about all the animals and pointed out educational things too. The kids loved spending the morning with her!

The new Komodo Dragon exhibit!! He is 250lbs and over 8ft long!!! I had no idea they get this big!

She again had the best ride for the day!

Cutiest flamingos I ever seen!!

And of course a little silliness to end the day!!

Spring Time Hike

With the kids on spring break we wanted to find some things close to home to do as a family. Today we went on a hike...a real hike! I had some reservations previously because it can take a lot of stamina to hike up a mountain but this past summer when we went to cabin the kids handled some hikes beautifully so we could wait to take them up the Wind Cave Trail out at Usery Mountain. What a gorgeous day and a blessing to enjoy such a green desert! God has given us a piece of His beauty today for sure!!!

Preparing for the hike...

The sun was just beginning to peak up over the mountains!

For those that don't know this is the Wind Cave Trail. Up at the top right is a cave...it gets a little hairy up there, espeically for the mom following behind her daughter who is hopping and jumping around on the trail.

This cutie pie got the best ride of all...Dad!

Half way up...snack time!

And this is the cave at the top. There were two sweet older couples already up there and they LOVED the kids. They shared their trail mix snacks and chatted them away. They complimented each of them individually on making it up the mountain. I was so proud of both of them!

Spring time in the desert with excellent winter rains...is there anything more beautiful?

LOVE my man!!!

We were pals on the trail. We walked, talked and laughed most of the way. She is a great partner!

Art Masterpiece

Don't you just feel so sad for her? When all the other kids spend the afternoons outside she stands here and watches them intently. She tries to get their attention by screetching at them or yelling for them but they are often to busy in their pretend worlds. I reassure her that so enough she will be able to join them...she is after all only 10mths old. (Don't grow up to fast sweetheart!)

Sisters for life

No matter what happens with either of their futures I pray that God will continue to grow their relationship together and that if they stay together that they create a bond of friendship. They are sisters...for life.

Special treat = bubbles of fun

I do try to be a bit more flexible these days when it comes to my crazy quirks and this is one of those times. I let the little ones have a huge bubble bath and go kinda crazy, and to my surprise they actually kept most of the water in the tub. The giggles were contagious! They enjoy playing with eachother so much and it does bless a mom's heart to see them get along so well.

"Houston, we have a tooth!"

This gorgeous girlie will be 10mths on Sunday and we finally had our first tooth break through this weekend!! She has gotten this tooth, and the second one quickly behind it, on the top not the traditional bottom. She loves to smile and be the center of attention, and with 4 brothers and sisters always available to laugh she has become quite entertaining. Walking is weeks away as she walks around all sort of furniture and has started standing alone from time to time. She grows more and more precisous each day!!

We celebrated 3 adult birthdays at my in-laws on Sunday. Of course it is always a hootin tootin time with 9 children running around at the house while the mommies and daddies try to chat or play games. The kids managed to destroy the playroom but it was a good time. They all play really well together which is such a blessing. Cousins Rock!