Happy 3rd Brithday Sweetheart!

Heart and Soul

With the anticipation of the courts dates over the summer God has been teaching me many big things but also a few small ones too. One example is eating...I am an emotional eater. When there is stress, anxitey or am borken hearted feeding my heart and soul has become a bad habit. Starbucks, pizza and let's not forget Mexican food have been a faithful companion this summer. Unfortunatly it comes with a little bit of baggage too...like about 5 extra pounds...just enough to make my pants tight. So, with my new awareness I of course needed to make a few changes, but I love to eat. I enjoy savory, flavor-filled food and I the more butter and cream the better...what is a girl to do? Get creative!! Last night I made homemade pizza crust and replaced a significant amount with whole wheat flour. Oh my, fresh basil, tomatoes and mozzeralla on the crust was so good! (And I felt less guilty) So, inspired by my new attitude I made banana bread this morning with some whole wheat flour and flax seeds...the bread is more dense which will take some getting used to but all in all delicious! And I didn't stop there...why not make eggs with leftover zucchini, orange bell peppers, onion, and tomoatoes seasoned with a little garlic salt and pepper...flavorful and more healthy than a McD's breakfast burrito. On my way to enjoying food but being a bit smarter about it.

Sleeping with eyes open

Ok, so we have an issue in our family...well, I should say on the male side of the family anyway, that people awake in the middle of the night, carry on full conversation while walking around the house and in the morning have NO recollection. Jacob last night, after only being in bed for about 1.5 hours walked all the way down stairs, spoke incoherently to Shane so what did he do...get the camera of course. He took this picture of Jacob because he wanted to ask him if he would remember it in the morning. Jacob saw the picture and laughed at his expression, and asked when that picture was taken. He could not remember it at all. Shane has been laughing all morning...oh the things we do to our kids.

PS Ok, I talk in my sleep too

Pretty girl

Joy

"I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,

where, down in my heart.

I got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,

where, down in my heart today.

And I'm so happy, so very happy,

I've got the love of Jesus in my heart.

I'm so happy, so very happy,

I've got the love of Jesus in my heart."

With so much going on with all the kids, all the court dates rapidly approaching I can't get this song out of my head. AND, I figure if I am singing this all day everyday through all the anxiousness I will be at peace. My Lord goes before me in battle...thank you JESUS!!!

Accountable

So now that school is starting its 7th week I have found myself getting in some bad habits which of course have brought stress and frustration into my mornings. Our kids are up early, so we are not "rushed" in the mornings, but I found myself carrying most of the work load AND being the nagging reminder about simple tasks like getting dressed, teeth brushed, shoes on, etc. I had myself a little mini break down last Thurs, overwhelmed with everything that needs to get done on a daily basis let alone just in the mornings before school. My hubby of course is my barometer and he jumped in to bring me down. We talked to each other, I talked to my mom and other friends and realized that I was causing some of the unnecessary stress thinking it was just easier to "do it myself". So I would di it myself, and then when I would ask the kids to help all I got was whining...not a great thing to add to a busy morning. After much reflection over the weekend I came up with a morning check list. I explained my expectation and that I would not be reminding them to do anything. They have all morning before we leave to complete these tasks and if they are unable then a privilege would be lost in the afternoon. In addition, I am starting their chores chart back up today that worked so well last year and some how we got away from doing it. So, I enjoyed a much less stress morning, things got done, and now I can focus on the things I need to do. Here is to a fresh start...

Season Officially Started!

Competitive soccer has officially begun...today was their first game....they won 2-1! Jacob is FAST!!! He has this whole other speed I call his "after burner" and steams for the ball. He played middle forward today and was right in the middle of the action. It was a bit hot, so coach did a great job rotating boys in and out to keep them watered and cooled down. Looking forward to next week!

Aunt Lynnette and Cousin Sydnee came out to watch....Nathan and Syd love hanging out each week she comes over to play. All we said was give each other a kiss..and this is what happened!!! SUPER CUTE!!!

Sweet or Savory

On Wed afternoon/evening Shane took the little ones out to the air park to fly his planes and there was a make shift pond from all the rain and these two got eaten alive! This is two days later so not as bad as the first morning, but they are itchy!!! Both are handling it well and I just they don't scratch too much and make sores. Next time...bug repellent!!

One last time this season...

We made our way to the ballpark one last time this season on Fri night. Of course we had to take the train again, another big highlight of our trips. We also were "wined and dined" by the Dbacks Season Ticket Sales staff and got a behind the scenes tour. Shane said I was drooling and had eyeball popping out of my head when we realized we were mere steps from the clubhouse down below decks. I saw our best rookie Gerrardo Parra in the batting cages...so EXCITING to be that close. We stood next too the dug out and over all I was just a kid in the candy store. Besides me, can you tell which kids are fans and which ones are there for the food? (Look at the clothes) Once again, we had a great time as a family, but we did leave early as it was not a good game and the kids can only take so much baseball. However, I was asked first thing the next morning by Nathan, "Mommy, we go train and go baseball today?", "No baby, we are not." I love this fun family outing!!!

Peaches, Apples, and Veggies OH MY!

I did "Bountiful Baskets" again today...(haven't done it in over a year), because they had boxes of peaches and apples. And when I say boxes I mean boxes...38lbs of apple and 32 lbs of peaches! Cobbler anyone? I LOVE peaches and I can't wait to start canning them this weekend. Also, I made homemade applesauce to give away at Christmas last year and everyone loved it so I am going to be making applesuace too. I have wanted to do this more but my kids are poor veggie and fruit eaters and I don't like to waste the fresh stuff so this time I took all the kids and they helped me load my basket full of food and their excitement bubbled over. Jacob and Samantha each started eating an apple in the car on the way home and Nathan is currently working on his second apple. They were all trying to tell me which item was a fruit and which one was a vegetable. I had no idea I sparked such interest simply by taking them along to help serve. Then my wonderful son grab a big box stuff with a bunch of other borken down boxes to bring home and recycle...what a little servant! Here is to becoming that reall "hillbilly" by canning!!

Chugga, chugga, choo choo

Ever since we took the light rail train to the ballpark for Opening Day Nathan has talked non-stop about trains, baseball and homeruns. He finds anything he can to line up like a train and walks around saying chugga, chugga, choo choo. These are our organizing toy bins, dumped of course, and lined up in a "train". Gotta love Ayana in the caboos doing her train horn motion. These two a hilarious!!

Happy Birthday Samantha!

Samantha has been begging to get a pedicure for about 9mths and we told her it was something very special we would do for her birthday. On Tues night her and I went to have our toes done and she liked it way too much!!! She picked a color to match her cast and I think you can see her coming a mile away with the florecent pink toes and nails. She is changing into such a big girl and it hardly seems real that she could be 6. Love you baby girl!!!

This is her giggling because it "tickled so bad" when they scrubbed her feet. I hope we make this a birthday tradition!

First day of preschool

Ayana started preschool yesterday at a local church. She will be going 2 mornings a week. She loves going to school and was excited to start. What makes the experience even better is Nathan's older brother Terrell is in her class too. I think her smiles says it all!

PS Thanks Tess for the extra pictures...they are great!

Labor Day Weekend in the pines

Ahhhhhhh is all I really have to say about being in the mountain this past weekend. We spent most of the weekend outside and LOVED every moment. We hiked, played baseball, threw the football around and enjoyed a campfire with marshmallows. This was one of the best weekends up north we have had in a really long time. The kids attitudes were amazing and I can't help but wonder if this heat makes us all grumpy sometimes. Anyway, I also took an opportunity to practice some photo shoot poses and composition. We won't be going up anytime soon since Jacob's soccer games start in a couple weeks so we just pray it starts to cool down in the valley.

Grandma with the big kiddos

Grandpa giving us some campfire tunes on his Indian flute

Painting on her new tea set she got for her birthday.

Early morning playtime while some were still sleeping

Of course games....matching the bugs for the little ones

Adorable!!

Showing off their bellies...heeheee!

A bit blurry but what can you expect in almost dark conditions...still love it!

I LOVE this shot...he is a true outdoor boy!

Can you see the pure joy on his face playing baseball!!! He thought he was in heaven!

I took individual shots of each kid

Captured a sweet moment...

The sin within

My head is pounding and I am having one of those moments in life where something small, yet not insignificant happens and you have to face the reality of what it means. Anger, tears, frustration, agony are all emotions that have filled my heart in the past two hours. I am in turmoil over how to parent a child, whose foundation was initially built on the sand and how I desperately want to patch the cracks and move that foundation on to the Rock. I am certain that all children struggle with sin and their struggle to find independence leads to many sad moments of poor choices. I remember a distinct moment of choosing their sinful desire rather than obeying with each of my kids, and now I have Ayana to add to that list. Today, while at the grocery store Ayana stole some candy, hid it in her shirt and I did not discover the truth until half was eaten and we were at home. This is a consistent pattern of behavior, as she tries to take toys from friends house, church, etc, but this was the first time she succeeded in actually stealing. I marched her 3 yr old fanny back to the store and made her talk to the store manager. He was much nicer than I was feeling on the inside, (that is the anger I was feeling) and she really didn't get it. There was no remorse, shame or embarrassment. As I was driving out of the parking lot, doubt in my parenting abilities swirled around in my head. Questions, and more questions began to feed the doubt when I pulled up behind this truck at the light...he had a personalized plate the read "Perseverance". The tears spilled over and ran down my face. Perseverance? That is a major struggle for me...always has been. I want to keep fighting, running the race and what ever else is used to describe perseverance but I feel so hopeless sometimes when the reality of giving her a forever home hits me. I want her to want to be my daughter, I want her to love me unconditionally like my two older kids. I want her to want to please God, me...herself with her choices. I know the foundation we have given Jacob and Samantha but I cannot control if/when/how her foundation may fracture someday, and that scares me. I want her to be happy, to be successful, to feel joy in our family, and I have no idea how to help her feel those things. So in a few moments of crying out to God, (oh and thanking him for the license plate too), I read through Romans 8. The truth...I cannot even control my own birth kids' happiness, joy or ability to love unconditionally. That job belongs to one and only one...GOD. We all have a sin nature we either choose to delight or reject. We all struggle with pleasing God verses pleasing our flesh, and for some it may be a war as opposed to just a battle. I am not sure God's plan for Ayana and our family, and there may be many more moments in the future like this which feels heavy, but the load is not carried by me alone. Our Lord desires for me to turn over my concerns at the same time He wants us to demonstrate His ways too.

"Those who live according to the sin nature have their minds set on what that nature desires,

but those who line in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires." Romans 8:5

Could there be anything more true? Not in this moment...it is exactly what I hope not only for myself, but for my children too. So, yes, did I overreact emotionally to this seemingly small issue, probably, but it did bring up some of my fears and I was able to read God's word, be refreshed and filled with hope. It won't be an easy road, but He has made promises that I cannot forget and I choose to trust in Him to fight for Ayana's heart...and mine too.

Sweet Treat

One of my favorite things as a kid was breakfast for dinner, and that hasn't changed now that I am all grown up. Last night we made from scratch buttermilk pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream...delicious!!! And of course we had to have bacon as a side. We all pounded down these yummy treats. This picture is making me want to eat it again this morning...but I will wait two more days and enjoy it at the cabin this weekend.
PS Shane thinks it is funny that I take a picture of my dinner before I eat...but how could I not, it looks soooooooo good!

Conversation

First, having two almost 3yr olds has created some interesting conversations of late. Both of them talk ALOT! Both of them articulate very well and are easy to chat with regardless of the topic. Second, a little background...we have had to institute "early to bed" as a consequence for choices made during the day, (mostly because all the kids seem to be over tired these day since getting up at 6am seems to be the norm). So while in the truck taking the big kids to school today Nathan asks me this question...(by the way he asks this every day without fail)

Nathan- "Mom, I want watch baseball when we get home."

Me- "Baseball is not one right now, it is too early, they are all sleeping."

Ayana- "Did they make bad choices too?"

Funny kids!!!