Sorrow

We all know about the horrific events that happened on 12/14/12 in Newtown, CT. It has been on most networks 24/7. New details emerge, then they are recanted, then we finally get correct details...so on and so on it goes.

I know there is evil in this world...this certainly is an example. I know we all have free will...a God-given blessing...maybe. After events like this we are all sitting around asking 'why?', 'how could anything like this happen?', and 'were there signs?'. We can talk all we want about gun control, mental health improvements and what ever else people decide to grasp at to make sense of this tragedy. I even find myself asking God why He let this happen? I believe in miracles, I believe in divine interception...I believe He could have stopped this...so why did it happen? I also believe, although clouded a bit with grief, that one day all these answers will be made clear. But as I wait for those answers I hurt.

I dropped my sweet darlings off at school yesterday and cried all the way home. I now know when I drop them off there is a chance, although a small chance, I may not see them again. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think this would be a reality. Never did those 20 parents. It is a sad, sorrow-filled, at times incomprehensible thought. Fear has entered a place in my mind that was not there before. My choice now is how much I will let that fear dictate my life.

I have an even deeper connection to this tragedy because my mother, step-mother and both of my in-laws are teachers. The 6 women who ran TOWARDS danger are remarkable...and yes, heroes. They all made it their life's work to teacher our children...our future. They all LOVE kids!!! Their love was never more present than on Friday. I am touched by all the teachers in my life. I am thankful for the 4 teachers my kiddos have today and I know my kids are in the best hands possible. I know they would all do whatever it takes to keep the kids in their charge safe.

I am so sad, deep in the valleys of my 'mother's' heart. I have two 6 yr olds. I have precious, innocent babes.I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain these parents are feeling and a part of me wishes I could take it away just for a few moments. Some say you never get over the loss of a child and I can totally see that being true....so true in this. I pray that God will not leave this country and will continue to keep searching and seeking for our hearts to be turned towards Him. I pray He comes very, very soon.

This country, this town, these people NEED our prayers now...