It has been a crazy few months over here in the Self house that is for sure. I feel like I have been on a roller coaster and I wish I could say that I handled myself brilliantly through it all...but alas that is not so.
A few days after Christmas we discovered a our dishwasher had been leaking into our island for several months if not longer. There was mold growth and in general significant water damage. Having never filed an insurance claim before we sought out advice on what we should do. We are 'do-it-ourself'ers. We enjoy a good project! With having small children we felt it was best to go ahead to contact insurance. We praised God when they approved our claim and we went on the contractor hunt. Shane works with some pretty amazing, smart engineers. Had consulted several of them and was given the name Holtzman Home Improvement. They came out and gave what we thought was a fair bid. In addition he was willing to negotiate directly with our insurance company if it was discovered more damage was done behind the things we couldn't see until demo began. The first week of March brought the team in. We were blessed with the use of a friends RV since our entire downstairs was unlivable. It was an intense week to say the least. Hotlzman originally said the whole project could be done in 2 weeks. People kept telling me 'think of it as an adventure...you'll be so happy when it's done...you can do anything for a couple weeks.' While these things were true, the project ended up taking almost 9 weeks. The drama and mistakes done left us feeling flabbergasted. I was angry, I was sad, I even screamed at the contractor on the phone in the most offensive way possible. I was ashamed. I then took myself out of the whole situation and let Shane handle everything else. We are still waiting for a few things to be finalized but for the most part the project is done. I have beautiful floors, newly painted cabinets that I love, and an island that is new an improved from the builder grade. It is funny how much you can fall in love with your home again when it looks this good! We also took this opportunity to get rid of stuff and it is amazing how much bigger the house feels with less stuff in it...no brainer right?
Through all this remodel stuff we adjusted to a new baby and sixth child in our home. She is a gift from God! She is an amazing little life that has brought us a new level of joy...to the entire family. While I still think it is crazy that I have 6 kids, she fits right in and over it has not been that hard to adjust. Although I will say my mom brain has gotten slow and forgetful. With the joy she brings, I have not been so keen on having CPS back in our home. I will say however that I have a decent caseworker which certainly makes this process a bit more comfortable. Navigating the justice systems leaves me feeling sad at times. These birth parents have really gotten themselves into a mess and I fear there is no way out for them, but of course that hasn't stopped them from fighting tooth and nail to get their baby back. It makes me really sit and think about all the different kids of love that are out there. I wonder if it is as unique as each individual. I have no doubt they 'love' their baby, but it is not the kind of love I choose or want to teach my children. I am reminded with every interaction with birth mom that she is stuck in her teenage years at an emotional level. While she has been very nice and respectful to me, and still struggle with this whole situation. The case is going to last way longer than we had ever hoped but it is yet another opportunity to trust in the bigger God. He brought this sweet babe to us and all we have to do it trust His timing and plan. So, we enjoy every single day...because it goes way too fast and it is such a blessing.
We have also been having to walk a hard rode with Hannah's school/teacher. This whole school year has brought more questions than I had ever hoped to have. It also shattered any delusions I had about ALL teachers. See I believed to a fault that all teachers taught for the same reasons. Of course they are all different but I believed, again wrongly, that they all loved children, wanted the best for children and were open to learning about each individual child and their needs. Unfortunately, that is just not so. Hannah's teacher is a nice lady. She is exactly the kind of teacher that fits into the type of school she works. For Hannah however it has not been the best fit. At this point we are trying to get her to finish the last weeks the best she can, with as little damage as possible. We have no illusions about our daughter and her challenges, but we LOVE her and see her for who she is at the core...that is why we were chosen to be her parents. This also requires that we advocate for her at all cost. This year we learned as much as she did, and that is why next year she will be going to a school better equipped to love and accept her...it is also a school way more diverse which I hope helps her to accept her differences. Her self-esteem has been so shaken, she questions why the things we love most about her are the way they are...like her hair and skin. We grieve for her and try hard to teach her about God's love and acceptance. So to sum it up, we all went to 'school' this year...we all have learned more that we ever thought.
There have been several very big, exciting things along the way this Spring too. Samantha was accepted to The Mesa Academy for Advanced Studies. This is a huge honor. She couldn't be more excited and has opportunities in front of her Shane and I never had. Jacob had another successful soccer season and in the midst of try outs for next year. He may have some big decisions ahead of us about soccer but right now we are enjoying his tams successes and the fun we had watching an very extraordinary team play with guts and heart!
Wow, that was a huge amount of unloaded information. I feel so much better. We are gearing up for the coming summer, the intense heat that is knocking on our door, and for the many, many baseball games we will be enjoying. Hard to believe May is upon us...be blessed this summer dear friends.
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