Walking by faith, not by sight

Is the title of this post cliche?? Pretty much. It is only half way through the month of January and I will tell you it has been one wild ride so far. I will put it this way...imagine a wall with two doors. Both of the doors are "good" options, meaning they could both be God ordained, or willed. Both doors present new, exciting things and in a fantasy world you would pick both. Shane and I spent weeks talking, talking and talking some more. We prayed, and prayed for God to show us His plan, His choice of door. We finally made a decision and reached for the knob of the door on the left.

Behind the left door is a significant life change. We found our dream home. It is big...HUGE! It could have all of us living there with space to spread out. It is somewhere we wouldn't have to move until we are empty nesters. To quote our Realtor..."With 4300sq ft you can do what ever you want!" And boy is she right! The kitchen is to DIE for. I think about this amazing family and am starting to realize the amount of food required for even one meal continues to grow and grow. I mean we eat one box of cereal per morning!!  I can cook up some amazing things with the space this kitchen offers. It has a salt water pool and plenty of yard space for our family. Like I said...DREAM home! It does come with a price however. We would be moving approx 30+ miles from where we are now. Schools, soccer and church would all have to change along with moving and that has broken our hearts. We also came to the realization that we are not so stuck in our current home to say 'no' to God if He is calling us to this house. We know it will be difficult, but His plans are not the easiest rode. How exciting huh??

As we touched the knob we prayed that God would reveal Himself to us. As we turned the knob we realized it is locked. I don't just mean locked, but like sealed and ain't nobody opening that door. At the same time the door on the right flung open with such force it nearly took our breath away. Stunned for a moment we just stared at that open door. We are fully aware of what is  behind that door and it is another life change.

Behind the door on the right is a sweet baby girl! A baby that is a sibling to our adopted girls. CPS contacted us about placing her in our home, and more importantly, with the possibility it will be forever. A 6th child?? Are you crazy God? Do we not have enough on our plates?

He doesn't ask us to always think with our brains, sometimes it is purely a stirring of the heart that leads to steps of faith. We felt a wave of peace wash over ourselves as we took the step through the door, letting go of the "dream" house completely behind in a moments notice. THIS is exciting!


Oh how I wish I could be posting pictures of her and sharing about all the sweet baby features, smells, and snuggles but when we walked through the door it was to a room that was pitch black. God asked us to take the first step which was to say 'yes', and now we are in a room where the path is hidden. We are waiting on Him to shine a light on the next step. I wish I could say it is easy waiting...but it is not. I spend too much time worrying about the time that has passed, the attachment challenges that may come because of the time, and the fact that her fate is really in the hands of a caseworker...just a man. We pray for her! We pray God will protect her little heart. We pray that He is moving in the hearts of those that hold all the control of her fate. We pray EARNESTLY that she will be with us very soon. We know this is His will. It is so hard to explain but we trust and believe this was always His plan. We are thankful He was so decisive about the other door, He answered our prayer immediately and what a joy it brings. Please pray for our family. We are aware that God may be growing us by the journey, not necessarily the end result. We want to walk in His will alone and we pray the next step will shine His light.

Blessing in 2013 and may the journey be one filled with joy and peace!

The Jenkins Wedding

Shane's youngest sister Stacie eloped with her husband Dave early in 2012 while she was still with the Peace Corp in the Philippines  They planned a whole wedding To-do for Dec. 27th for all their family. The requested that 6 of the Nieces be flower girls and we got to have some fun getting our girls all pretty!

Note to anyone thinking a wedding is a good idea close to Christmas...it can be beautiful, but it is stressful too.

Christmas 2012

Another blessing to be together and enjoy celebrating the birth of Jesus. We spent Christmas Eve with my parents. We then enjoyed an amazing morning opening presents before heading to the Self's for brunch and gift exchange.

Candyland

I had the privilege to be a helper in Nathan's class. It was a candy and frosting explosion! I was so proud of him and his focus and creativity. He worked very hard and was proud of his masterpiece.

Sorrow

We all know about the horrific events that happened on 12/14/12 in Newtown, CT. It has been on most networks 24/7. New details emerge, then they are recanted, then we finally get correct details...so on and so on it goes.

I know there is evil in this world...this certainly is an example. I know we all have free will...a God-given blessing...maybe. After events like this we are all sitting around asking 'why?', 'how could anything like this happen?', and 'were there signs?'. We can talk all we want about gun control, mental health improvements and what ever else people decide to grasp at to make sense of this tragedy. I even find myself asking God why He let this happen? I believe in miracles, I believe in divine interception...I believe He could have stopped this...so why did it happen? I also believe, although clouded a bit with grief, that one day all these answers will be made clear. But as I wait for those answers I hurt.

I dropped my sweet darlings off at school yesterday and cried all the way home. I now know when I drop them off there is a chance, although a small chance, I may not see them again. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think this would be a reality. Never did those 20 parents. It is a sad, sorrow-filled, at times incomprehensible thought. Fear has entered a place in my mind that was not there before. My choice now is how much I will let that fear dictate my life.

I have an even deeper connection to this tragedy because my mother, step-mother and both of my in-laws are teachers. The 6 women who ran TOWARDS danger are remarkable...and yes, heroes. They all made it their life's work to teacher our children...our future. They all LOVE kids!!! Their love was never more present than on Friday. I am touched by all the teachers in my life. I am thankful for the 4 teachers my kiddos have today and I know my kids are in the best hands possible. I know they would all do whatever it takes to keep the kids in their charge safe.

I am so sad, deep in the valleys of my 'mother's' heart. I have two 6 yr olds. I have precious, innocent babes.I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain these parents are feeling and a part of me wishes I could take it away just for a few moments. Some say you never get over the loss of a child and I can totally see that being true....so true in this. I pray that God will not leave this country and will continue to keep searching and seeking for our hearts to be turned towards Him. I pray He comes very, very soon.

This country, this town, these people NEED our prayers now...

Happy 36th Birthday Kristen

One of the most memorable birthdays I have had. Ballroom dancing lessons with my hubby, awesomely fun night out with girlfriends and a fantastic meal at Joe's Farm Grill! This getting older thing definitely has its perks!

Holiday Craft Ideas

I have been spending too much time on Pinterest and how can I not...there are some amazing ideas out there and it gets my creative juices flowing.I was a speaker at mom2mom this morning and got a wonderful opportunity to share things that I love with others. Here are a few of what I came up with...

 Homemade bookmarks or ornaments...

 Grace's feet as reindeer...

 Sugar scrub gifts for teachers/co-workers/neighbors...

 Snowman treat box...adorable!

Handprint ornaents, turned into 5 snowmen...