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Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Spring Training 2011
Our D-backs opened a brand new spring train facility in Scottsdale this year. Previously they trained in Tucson an we had never made the trip but with them so close we couldn't pass up the opportunity with it being spring break and all. As always the kids had a BLAST. They were a bit on the hyper side which made me have to be intentional about chilling out. (wink, wink) It was beautiful outside in the night air and such a joy to be together as a family. We were 7 rows up from the field and in fly ball danger zone although we didn't get any hit towards us. We lasted about 6 innings and then it was time to head home with tired kiddos. The babe got to enjoy some one-on-one time with Auntie Carla who only lives about 3 miles from the facility. So, a few pictures and then this tired mama i going to bed.
Now that's a deal
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
SEE
I have been in a whirl of emotions since last night and again today. I just finished ready "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman. It is a beautiful God story of her life with Steven Curtis Chapman, their journey to adoption, the tragic lose of their daughter Maria in May of 2009 and their new "normal" after. I have never read a more amazing story of real life Christian people. I laughed and of course cried through the whole book. I found myself in a bit of envy of the relationship their family has with God and spent some time reflecting on how we can do a better part in ours. I felt like I was reading my life...sort of. I of course am not married to a pop star, although I do think my hubby is pretty amazing. I haven't adopted from China but I can relate almost to well to Mary Beth's struggle with rejection, worthiness, perfectionism and depression. What amazing strength and courage it must have taken to write about such intimate details of their life. Do we or do we not expect our celebrities to live perfectly, show no weakness. I think we do, and here is a woman, bearing her heart and soul to anyone who reads this book. She actually talks openly about her faith and faithlessness at times...how incredible. To see a woman lay it all out there...she has gone through things I would never wish on anyone and is coming out stronger and more righteous. She confronts straight on the lie that Satan tells us and walks faithfully with her Savior. You have to read this book...you have to. While I do not wish tragedy in my life I do hope to walk the path she is walking with my Lord and be able to have a story to share that will bring many to a relationship with God. If I could talk to her right now it would be to say "Thank you...you took what Satan meant for evil, followed God and are turning it into good."
On a side note...I never looked up the meaning of "Hannah" but she included it her book since their first adopted China Princess is Shaohannah. It means..."gift of God's grace." I wept and wept. My God put on our little girls' heart to change her name when we adopted her and picked a name that couldn't be more reflective of His role in her life...rescuing her from abuse, giving her a loving (although at times flawed family), and hopefully bring her into His Kingdom some day. I cannot wait to tell her what He has done for her...my precious gift of God's grace.
On a side note...I never looked up the meaning of "Hannah" but she included it her book since their first adopted China Princess is Shaohannah. It means..."gift of God's grace." I wept and wept. My God put on our little girls' heart to change her name when we adopted her and picked a name that couldn't be more reflective of His role in her life...rescuing her from abuse, giving her a loving (although at times flawed family), and hopefully bring her into His Kingdom some day. I cannot wait to tell her what He has done for her...my precious gift of God's grace.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Regular Season is done
Jacob finished his last regular season game this morning. He had several amazing passes that went for shots on goal. One of those passes lead to an assist. He has grown leap and bounds in his soccer ability. We are very proud of him. The team has one more tournament next weekend and then we will be re-evaluating our plans for the fall. What ever he chooses I am so very happy he has enjoyed soccer so much and has become a player of integrity.
PS I was another gorgeous morning in AZ...sunny, breezy and in the low 70's...ahhhhhhhh I love spring!!!
Friday, March 4, 2011
McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park
We got out and enjoyed this mazing AZ weather with our Mom2Mom group yesterday. It was gorgeous!!!
We played at the park...all three were very brave and doing things I haven'y seen them do before.
That IS a powdered sugar smile for sure!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
No words
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
The "system"
My mind is all over the place tonight. I just spent the afternoon in juvenile court and testifying in the severance trial for our little African princess. I am experiencing such a huge range of emotions and guess I am going to blog to get it all out.
I thank God almost daily for living is this country. We are blessed beyond measure to have the freedoms we enjoy. I am comforted that we have a system where we can defend ourselves in a court. I do not ever want to take for granted this freedom but sometimes I get frustrated with it too. Today is one of those days. I had to sit and listen to testimony that at times seemed outrageous and then see a Dad brought to tears over how much he loves his little girl. I prayed all the way to court that God would be ever present in the court room. I prayed that I would testify with His words and that grace and truth would reign supreme. I was freaking out over some of the cross examination questions and am still a bit confused at their purpose since I am not the one on trial but I remained truthful in my answers and gracious in my attitude even when I felt attacked. I sat and watched these parents express serious emotions when they talked about her and felt compassion. I do not agree with their choices, and if asked, yes, I think she should be in our home forever, but they do love her...in the way they know how.
And as I put her to bed tonight I couldn't help cry....tears that are spilling over even now. My flesh cries out to hang on to her as tight as I can. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to claim her as my own. But even more significant is how much I want to align my life with God's. I want what He wants for her...even if that is not want my flesh wants. I have been praying diligently that God would change my heart...my flesh, that He will make it see His will at the while not forsaking my petition to keep her either. I want what He thinks is best. I do not know the future...I am only here today, in this moment but my God sees the whole parade...HE knows what her future holds and who her parents are going to be. He is preparing a place for her to be safe, cared for and loved. Maybe that is our home, we certainly are up for the challenge...but maybe it's not. And as hard as it is to entertain that thought the He may put her with her Dad I have to trust He is doing what is best for her. He loves her even more than I do. I can only imagine the hurt and horror He felt when her mother took those drugs and drank the alcohol during pregnancy but His loves for her surpasses any mistake we as humans do to one another. How silly for me to think I know better. He rescued her from harm in the beginning He certainly won't stop now...our home or her Dad's. My protective heart wants to save her from further harm but my God heart knows He turns what once was meant for evil into good. She is a lucky, lucky little girl...loved deeply by so many; prayed for diligently. What ever the outcome, there are hurting parents on both ends...her birth mom and dad...I can only imagine their pain and fear at the thought they may lose her forever. And our pain and fear that we may not be who God has called to be her forever parents. But I do know one thing, my life has been made full to have her in it. She brings joy and happiness to our family and that I am forever thankful for.
I am praying tonight to embrace tomorrow fresh and new, knowing she is with us for this day and praise Him for how ever many more days He gives us...she is loved. I choose to trust God...now and in the future.
I thank God almost daily for living is this country. We are blessed beyond measure to have the freedoms we enjoy. I am comforted that we have a system where we can defend ourselves in a court. I do not ever want to take for granted this freedom but sometimes I get frustrated with it too. Today is one of those days. I had to sit and listen to testimony that at times seemed outrageous and then see a Dad brought to tears over how much he loves his little girl. I prayed all the way to court that God would be ever present in the court room. I prayed that I would testify with His words and that grace and truth would reign supreme. I was freaking out over some of the cross examination questions and am still a bit confused at their purpose since I am not the one on trial but I remained truthful in my answers and gracious in my attitude even when I felt attacked. I sat and watched these parents express serious emotions when they talked about her and felt compassion. I do not agree with their choices, and if asked, yes, I think she should be in our home forever, but they do love her...in the way they know how.
And as I put her to bed tonight I couldn't help cry....tears that are spilling over even now. My flesh cries out to hang on to her as tight as I can. I would be lying to myself if I said I didn't want to claim her as my own. But even more significant is how much I want to align my life with God's. I want what He wants for her...even if that is not want my flesh wants. I have been praying diligently that God would change my heart...my flesh, that He will make it see His will at the while not forsaking my petition to keep her either. I want what He thinks is best. I do not know the future...I am only here today, in this moment but my God sees the whole parade...HE knows what her future holds and who her parents are going to be. He is preparing a place for her to be safe, cared for and loved. Maybe that is our home, we certainly are up for the challenge...but maybe it's not. And as hard as it is to entertain that thought the He may put her with her Dad I have to trust He is doing what is best for her. He loves her even more than I do. I can only imagine the hurt and horror He felt when her mother took those drugs and drank the alcohol during pregnancy but His loves for her surpasses any mistake we as humans do to one another. How silly for me to think I know better. He rescued her from harm in the beginning He certainly won't stop now...our home or her Dad's. My protective heart wants to save her from further harm but my God heart knows He turns what once was meant for evil into good. She is a lucky, lucky little girl...loved deeply by so many; prayed for diligently. What ever the outcome, there are hurting parents on both ends...her birth mom and dad...I can only imagine their pain and fear at the thought they may lose her forever. And our pain and fear that we may not be who God has called to be her forever parents. But I do know one thing, my life has been made full to have her in it. She brings joy and happiness to our family and that I am forever thankful for.
I am praying tonight to embrace tomorrow fresh and new, knowing she is with us for this day and praise Him for how ever many more days He gives us...she is loved. I choose to trust God...now and in the future.
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