Raise me up...

After a couple of emotionally disappointing days dealing with CPS and trying to work out custody of Nathan, getting lost and never making it to a dinner Fri night, and a hubby's stinging words, I hit my breaking point...unleash the tears. My emotions are still so raw and if I don't keep myself distracted the tears begin again, but my ever faithful Father, who feels my pain, always finds a way to show me a glimmer of His light. While driving home last night after getting lost in Scottsdale it was all quiet in the car and Klove was playing softly. The announcer came on and talked about how this world and the work of Satan uses words of defeat and untruth to tear up down, but God gives us the power to combat those lies. The ironic thing is a friend had said almost those same words to me on the phone not 20 min. earlier and then a song...you know, the kind of song God is playing for you and only you, He is reaching His hand down from heaven to touch the hurt and give you peace.

"When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary,

When troubles come, and my heart burdened by,

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,

until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,

you raise me up, so I can walk on stormy seas,

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders,

You raise me up, to more than I can be.

There is not life, no life without its hunger,

Each restless heart beats so imperfectly,

But when you come I am filled with wonder,

Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains,

you raise me up, so I can walk on stormy seas,

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders,

You raise me up, to more than I can be."

Of course this song is so much more powerful when listening to it, the raw, pure emotion the music stirs, how can there be any doubt that God himself is right there, next to you, walking with you in the midst of your suffering. Does this song miraculously change the current circumstance, no, but through my tears He is wrapping His arms around me and whispering in my ear that everything will be alright. It is moments like this that I wish would just be easier and that I could look through a crystal ball, see how God is going to work everything the way we hope, but as we all know, what would be the point of faith. So what is the "truth"? The truth is God placed Nathan in our home, He WILL take care of him and protect him and we have to trust that God's plan is for Nathan to stay with us forever, and this "mama bear" is going to fight for him right along side our LORD.