Rush to Judgement

Ok, soap box moment is about to start but there are just a few things I need to get off my chest. Things are so different than they were 30 yrs ago...ok, so I am not sharing any moumental news with that statement, but to a certain degree, at least from my perspective, things are different in the areas of race and mixed race families. (disclaimer: I realize this is not true for every where in the US, and acknowledge that it is not everyone's experience, but it is mine)

So from a very young age I learned that race wasn't anything to think differently about. My Uncle left the US with the Peace Corp when I was a toddler and when he came back he brought with him an African American wife and her daughter. I though it was really cool to have another girl cousin in the family since at the time we were seriously out numbered, like a 5:2 ratio. Anyway, I never even thought about her being a different race than me...not one time did it enter my mind. We played together and life went on as usual. I mean really, in my extended family on both side there were dark brunettes, bright red heads and platnium blondes, so in my mind they fit right in. I am thankful to my parents who never made any issues about anyone looking different. I just remember being told we are all family and we are all the same in the inside; that was enough for me. So when I started dating Shane, I discovered his family is mixed race...how cool was that? I actually loved the fact that he had adopted sisters and thought it was more normal that they were multiracial...because that was my normal. When we got married I remember thinking how I was going to give my children the same experience with family that I had...we are all people...God's people.

Now fast forward 13yrs and funny how God gives us experiences or dare I say feelings about certain things only to end up using them for some amazing good in the future. When God opened the door and Nathan came to us we had no idea which or even how many doors He would be opening. We did take the 'foster care' journey and we all know we have 3 amazing kiddos who happen to be African American. I find it so ironic that the only placements we have ever had have been this race. When we went through the training all we heard about were Native American and Hispanic, simply because of our southwest location. But, God, that amazing Lord we serve, knew what He had planned and so here we are...with these three kiddos whom I adore more than I ever thought possible. However, I was angered deeply this week to read a blog post of a wonderful family who has adopted 3 girls from Haiti and the Mom's experience in a professional's office last week. She was taking one of her girls in to a new office and went up to the desk to check in and the woman at the desk questioned who she was in relation to the girl being seen. Her first question wasn't inappropraite, but when the mom said "I am her mother" the desk clerk had the nerve to ask her if she had proof. I was horrified as I read the heartbreak in her words. I was MAD at the fact that she would even ask such a question. I was humbled at the fact that that may be my experience some day.

I am sure it must seem strange to people to see a me, a white woman, in the store with 3 African American children. It is not every day that a bouncey energetic 3yr old running around with cornrows and beads is holding hands with her mother, who is white and YES, does her hair thanks to Youtube. But please, if I can encourage one thing...please do not make your first assumption be to question whether or not she is that childs mother. We hold steadfast to the truth the our Lord and Savior is shaping our family into what He has always had planned. He has put these precious babies of His into our home and if He chooses for one, two or even all three of them to stay with us forever we are happy to rise to the challenge. I don't look at my kids and see skin color...(yes, I call them my chocolate babies but they are just so yummy to kiss and snuggle), I see my kids. We don't live in the most cultural part of town, and certainly we may have to make choices in the future that will only enhance all our experiences in this world, but I find that so exciting. I think all these families that choose adoption, and more so the ones that choose to adopt transracial, expect certain looks but we love our children no matter how different we look from eachother. Did Moses look Egyptian? I don't know, but we have an opportunity to help these children understand God and His love, His identity, and His purpose...gives me chills all over and an incredible sense of peace. We are thankful to be part of a church with so many adopted children...many from all over the globe. Their examples have made it easier to take another step on this path.

What a journey...thinking over the past 10yrs...wow, can't wait to see what the next 10yrs brings our family. We jumped on God's rollercoaster and have been thrilled by adventure ever since...