Oh that BUBBLE...you know the one we choose to live in; the one that is safe, comfortable and nothing bad ever seems to happen. The same bubble that, on occassion, can pop but we quickly try with all our might to get back into. The holidays this year were a mixed bag for me. I love enjoying this holiday with my husband and kids. There is a real peace when we all snuggle on the couch, the tree lights on and watch a movie together...my bubble. I was equally happy about my brother coming to AZ for Christmas and seeing him and his girlfriend play with my kids reminded me of being a kid all over again. (Aunts and Uncles are BEST!) But mixed with all the joy was a few realities I experienced that have left me feeling sad and disappointed in the midst of great joy. It's kinda like the candy cane...red and white, twisted and mixed together. Red, sin and white, Life (Jesus)...it tastes good, I wouldn't change it, but the red mixed in is hard to miss.
These "things" that popped my bubble I wish I could share in detail, but I can't. It is either too hard for me and/or not my information to share. I don't like carrying a burden of knowing things about others and not I being able to do anything to change it. You all know me...I want to jump in there and fix everything; make this world, others' lives, better (be the Great Rescuer). I also struggle with fairness. I have a feeling God will spend the better part of 2011 teaching me all about this. When I see something I think is wrong, and I mean seriously wrong, it takes every part of me to not want to do something about...to make these people face consequences for their choices. I am baffled by what people with do...their selfishness...their total lack of concern over what is at stake.
Boy do I sound all high and mighty or what? Like I am so much better. Like my 'sins' are any less sinful to God? OUCH! Funny how when I finally start to write things down, start to get out all my pent up emotions God just whispers ever so softly in my ear His truth...and a whole lot of grace. I guess one of my hot buttons is when parents choose to do something illegal and have kids. I pray constantly that they will find some truth in the choices they are making without the children having to suffer consequences. It hits home...I have three beautiful blessings in my home because their parents made choices...and these children have suffered. They didn't ask for the challenges in their life, and by God's grace He saved them from their hell. He is giving them a future. So no, my sins are not better...but I am trying like heck to make myself more to the image of God. I want to create a home, a place that is real, true, honest, safe...a different type of bubble. I want to create a bubble where God's hands are the outside and He is breathing life into my family. I want my Lord and Savior to guide us down His path...with all our imperfections and all. I don't want the evil things in this world to corrupt our bubble, but to bounce off and be squashed by God. Will I be able to keep our family drama free, evil free, no, but I want us to be strong in the Lord so that when the world's influences of drugs, sex, immorality, etc come knocking we will reject its luster and reflect God's love and grace. What a challenge living in this world presents and yet we were not put here to be swallowed up either.
When my bubble gets popped and the reality of a fallen world hits...I will remember this...
My devotional reading for today, Januray 4, 2011...Jesus speaking to me...
"I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying, "I trust you, Jesus." in response to whatever happens to you. If there is time, think about who I AM in all My power and Glory. Ponder also the depth and breath of my Love for you. This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging My sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from this perspective - through the Light of My universal Presence - fear loses its grip on you. Adverse circumstance become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continual assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me."
Awwwwww, what a relief. I don't have to be in control of what happens around me. Thank you Lord for reminding me, even in my disappointment of others that you are sovereign and YOU know what you are doing. Thank you for the multitude of blessings our family has received. Lord, I pray, humbled and broken for those I love to make a choice to shed what is in the world, embrace your love and find peace and joy in your hope for their life. Amen
1 comment:
I love this post. Thank you for sharing this!
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